The Lost Art of Phone Conversations

One of the clearest signs that I’m not a millennial is that I actually enjoy calling and talking to friends on the phone. I like texting as much as the next person, but there’s something personal about an actual phone conversation that no number of stickers or emojis in WhatsApp/LINE/WeChat/FB Messenger can replace.

Sadly not everybody shares my sentiment. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but generally I know you don’t like talking on the phone if you answer “what’s up?”, since that tells me you want to get to the point and end the call as soon as possible. (For this reason, I much prefer a “how are you?” instead.)

But there’s something to be said about calling just to have a conversation, because even though we’re Facebook friends and you can see all the delicious food I eat, there’s more to our relationship than knowing what dessert you’re jealous I had last weekend.

Earlier this month I got an unexpected call from a friend I hadn’t seen or heard from in over a year. I met Matt playing volleyball many years ago, but we hadn’t chatted much since he moved to LA and had 2 kids. He had just moved to Colorado, and even though there’s probably a low chance of us seeing each other again, it was nice to just connect and see how his family is doing. It was also nice to find out that he converted from Android to iPhone (thanks to his wife), and has now come to believe that there are many things Apple does better than the competition. We must have chatted for 30 minutes, and it felt good.

A week or two after that, I paid it forward and called a friend I hadn’t seen in a couple months. Jason had posted something personal on Facebook, and to be honest I wanted to just leave a comment on his wall, but I decided to bite the bullet and call him instead. I also wanted to explain why I’ve been a slacker friend and hadn’t visited him (all the way in Santa Cruz) like I said I would. I think he appreciated it, much like I appreciated the unexpected call from Matt.

I still remember the days of yore when I was in junior high and high school, and how I would spend hours on a landline talking to friends, and was yelled at since we didn’t have call waiting and I was tying up the phone line. It’s crazy how much technology and culture has evolved since then, and even though I don’t want to return to the past (I love my iPhone way too much), I miss not only the conversations, but also how it was more “normal” back then to actually call just to have a conversation with a friend.

So…pick up your smartphone / iPhone and call somebody you haven’t spoken to in a while. Ask them how they’re doing. Don’t say “what’s up” when friends call you unexpectedly. It may feel awkward at first, but hang in there…it’ll get better. If it doesn’t, you can always just send an emoji or sticker next time.