Why you should always ask your friends for airport rides

I was telling Carol* that even though people say no to my invitations all the time (it’s an occupational hazard for the amateur event planner), I don’t mind because it’s an opportunity to find out what’s going on in other people’s lives, and I end up feeling more connected to them.

“And you need that, huh?”

“Uh…yeah.” I was a bit taken aback by her question, but unashamed in my response because yes, I need connection to other human beings; don’t we all?

In this age of Uber, DoorDash, and Amazon Prime, it’s becoming more and more possible to live lives where you don’t need anybody. I’m dating myself here, but before the days of Uber you would actually need to ask friends or family for airport rides. I mean, I still do because I’m cheap, but it’s nice to know that I don’t NEED to since there are other options available to me.

On the other hand, isn’t it precisely that NEED that makes human connection meaningful? Perhaps the toughest part of needing people is the potential of getting rejected or hurt. Sometimes the stakes are higher (would you like to hang out or grab lunch sometime…?), and sometimes they’re lower (can you pass the salt?).

Needing people can be a messy business, but it’s a universal human struggle because we all need relationship and connection. I’m reminded of the last time I changed companies and how I had to go through the trauma of eating lunch by myself since I didn’t know anybody. Thankfully it was only a few weeks before I won over my new coworkers with the sheer force of my ISTJ personality, but I still recall how surprisingly difficult of a transition it was for me.

During that time, I got pretty excited when I befriended a new lunch buddy, only to find out he was moving to a different part of the company. Rob was the first and only friend I had made at that point so I was crying inside when he told me, but I put on a brave face and was like, “Hey uh, congrats on the new opportunity and let’s keep in touch.” (Amazingly, we still do.)

Nowadays I don’t mind eating alone (as much), but I would posit that it’s perfectly healthy/normal to need/want a regular lunch buddy. More than that, it’s perfectly healthy/normal to need people in your life.

Which friends do you need in your life? Do they know that you need them? I’m not suggesting that you tell all (or any) of your friends that you need them, but it could be an edifying exercise to understand and speak out what it is that you need/appreciate from the ones that mean the most to you.

Or, if you’re looking to be better friends with the ones that you have, ask them for help on something: moving a sofa, bringing food to a game night, and yes, airport rides. Although asking for help or admitting you need help can be uncomfortable and interpreted as a sign of weakness, I think it can actually deepen friendships. Fundamentally, you are letting your friend know that you need them in some way, and it gives them the opportunity to reciprocate and also share a need in the future.

Thanks to social media and technology we are more connected than ever, but I’m also wary of how much we have lessened our dependence on each other as a result. (It’s almost like social media is only used to showcase how awesome our lives are, versus to improve the quality of our relationships….🧐) To that end, I want to encourage us all to fight that trend by asking your friends for help instead of, for example, paying for a service like Uber or DoorDash. I also welcome the opportunity to help my friends with airport rides or food delivery (note that I draw the line at helping you move…but if I like you enough I’ll chip in for movers or food).

Caption: Me at lunch with Rob, many years after first meeting him 

* Carol: not her real name