How judgey am I?

“On a scale of 1-10, how judgey am I?” I asked my cousin Brian.

“About a 12.”

Don’t you love how family always tells you the truth?

Some background here. I’m older than Brian, and therefore grew up bossing him around and imposing my values on him (that’s what family is for, right?…trust me though, he doesn’t take it lying down, so he doesn’t need your sympathy). Whenever we’d get together for family gatherings it’d typically be a potluck dinner at somebody’s home, so we’re all responsible for getting our own plate of food.

I’m not sure how long ago this happened, but I noticed at one family gathering that he wasn’t able to finish what he scooped onto his plate, so he’d just throw it away. I don’t remember my exact reaction but I think I said something to the effect of, “Excuse me, how old are you? You shouldn’t waste food…you should only get what you can finish, and just get seconds afterwards.” In addition, from that point forward, I’d always eye him whenever he’s getting food at family gatherings and ask, “You’re going to finish that, right?”

So…that’s why he said I’m a 12. It’s a fair assessment, though…I’m pretty judgey. In fact, recently I was telling a friend that I think I met somebody more judgey than me, and she said, “No way…how is that even possible?” 😂😂😂 

On that note, I thought I’d share a few “new” things I’m judgey about:

• As mentioned….people who don’t finish their food when it’s 100% within their control. Basically, whenever you scoop your own food, like at a buffet. It really bothers me when people waste food…just don’t do it. And yes, I know I don’t have kids, but parents of small kids…let’s try to keep the food waste to a minimum at buffet restaurants, yeah? (You can judge me when I have kids.)
• People who are on their phones at a sit-down dinner. Earlier this month I was at a dinner where I met some new people, and the contrast was striking between those who were addicted to their phones and those who weren’t. I met this couple who were fully engaged in conversation and their phones were nowhere to be found. Then there were a couple other people who’d be checking their phones every few minutes.
  • Look, I totally understand that sometimes you need to respond to texts and calls, but it’s probably a good rule of thumb to be off your phone 80% of the time.
  • If I know I’ll have to respond to texts while at dinner, I try to give people a heads-up and explanation so they know what to expect.
  • Obviously, there’s an exemption for when you have to instagram your meals….how else would the rest of the world know that you’re doing something worthwhile?
• People who carry on real-life conversations with AirPods in their ears. At a minimum, take one AirPod out of your ear. If the conversation goes longer you should really take both AirPods out. And please, for goodness sakes, if you’re with friends please don’t have a bluetooth headset on one ear…it’s just weird and off-putting.
• People who tell me, “Oh my gosh, I went to the best restaurant last night…it was life-changing” etc etc, and then when I ask what restaurant it was, they say, “I’m not sure…somebody else took me there.” HEAVY EYE ROLL…of course I call them out on it, especially nowadays when both Google and Facebook know everywhere we’ve been every minute of everyday…

Maybe the theme here is thoughtfulness: how thoughtful are you when it comes to food waste, and interpersonal relationships?

There’s also a whole other category of things I’m judgey about that I haven’t yet touched on in this post: your judgments. Obviously, there’s the whole white meat / dark meat thing, but I’m also reminded of this conversation I had with this girl because she thought the açaí place I recommended was just “okay.”

“Wait a minute,” I said, “what makes an açaí bowl good to you?”

“The toppings,” she replied.

Look — if you prefer white meat chicken because you grew up eating it and prefer dry meat, I can respect that. If, on the other hand, you tell me your main criteria for judging açaí bowls is something OTHER THAN THE açaí, then I’m going to have questions about your judgment.

Funnily enough, while looking up another açaí bowl place I came across my own Yelp review from a few years back, where I was also being judgey, but for a different reason.

What things are you judgey about?