The Travel Criteria

“Who are you going to Paris with? How do you know that you guys will be compatible travel partners?” Jason asked.

“I’m going with Nathan from church…you’ve met him, I traveled with him to Portland before and it was fine.” I went on to tell Jason that I only travel with 2 types of people:

1. Opinionated friends with good taste (so I’m okay with whatever they decide to do), or
2. Friends who are okay with whatever I decide to do, since I’m a planner with good taste (obviously I take their input into consideration – I’m not a monster).

“Nathan’s in the second category as this would be his first trip to Europe, and I’ve been multiple times. Plus, he’s chill, I’m chill, and since I’ve already been to Paris I’m okay with mostly whatever.” (I didn’t realize then that I had just told a bald-faced lie, but more on that later.) Pausing, I asked, “Why, what have you learned from traveling with friends?”

“There’s a lot of factors to consider: do you guys have similar travel styles? Do you want to see the same things? Are you okay splitting up and doing your own thing if needed? I like to plan everything out when I travel – including free time – and not everybody wants to do that. And traveling with friends can make you think about why you’re friends in the first place.” Jason had clearly given this a lot of thought, and I appreciated his perspective.

So I just got back from Paris a week ago, and I realized on the trip that the bald-faced lie I told earlier was…wait for it…”I’m chill.”

While I definitely like to think that I’m chill and can roll with the punches (I think, therefore I am…right?), I was reminded while traveling that there’s at least one thing I’m NOT chill about while traveling: slow walking. We had only arrived in Paris for a few hours when Nathan discovered that he had unfortunately broken the cardinal rule of traveling in Europe: wear comfortable shoes. In Europe you walk everywhere (you can easily walk 10+ miles a day), which is quite a contrast to California, where you drive everywhere and walk nowhere. That was probably also why I had never noticed a difference in our walking speeds stateside.

To be fair, Nathan was also walking slower than me since he wanted to take his time to breathe in the sights and enjoy his first time in Europe. According to him I was practically running everywhere, which, while 100% false, the truth is that I do enjoy a brisk walk, especially when it’s cold (which it was). I did get frustrated on the day we were In Bruges, since it was the coldest day of the week (just below freezing) and that was NOT the day for slow walking (I felt like I was going to get hypothermia…but I also got some great photos of the city, so there’s that).

That probably would have been the day to split up and do stuff separately, except Nathan didn’t have a data plan in Belgium (we were there for <30 hours) and didn’t know where he was going, which brings me to rule #2 while traveling in Europe: get a data plan. Research which one you should get beforehand, and know where you’ll be able to get one when you reach your destination. Do that the first thing after you land and also consider which countries you’re traveling to when deciding which data plan (or plans) to get.

Either way, in the future I’ll be administering a walking test for all potential traveling companions so I know what I’m getting into.

Then there’s the whole J-P thing. You know, the last trait of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, with Judging = structured and planned (me) and Perceiving = adaptable and flexible (Nathan). Another way to think about it is, J’s prefer to plan ahead and do the thinking on the front-end, while P’s like to leave their options open and do the thinking on the back-end. I knew that Nathan’s a P, but figured it’d be fine since I’ve moderated over the years and have learned to be more flexible. Plus nowadays I don’t even plan that far in advance…I only finished booking lodging for Paris a few days before leaving. In general, though, I like to sketch out a rough idea of what the next day looks like so I can make the best use of my time eating around Paris. For most of the trip that worked out fine, but one night after a particularly exhausting day here’s how that conversation went with Nathan:

Me: “When do you want to go to Versailles tomorrow?” (We had bought the tickets in advance for the next day.)

Nathan: “I’d rather not plan anything tonight. Let’s figure it out tomorrow.”

Me: “Okay…how much time do you think you’ll want to spend there?”

Nathan: “I don’t know…I have no context for knowing how long it should take.”

While I understood where he was coming from, I couldn’t help but be somewhat annoyed at his response. I didn’t need a detailed schedule of exactly when we were going to do everything, but it would have been to nice to know generally when we’re out and about so I could plan other things around it (“other things” being food). So I left the planning until the next day, and it ended up being fine. In hindsight I should have just gone with the flow and not tried to plan anything when we were both exhausted.

I don’t think I knew how much of a “P” Nathan was until that conversation. Shortly after that he also told me, “You know, I’m totally fine with going to a cafe and hanging out there the whole day. I’m okay with that instead of seeing the sights.” My immediate response was, “Um, this would have been useful information to have before the trip….” Maybe it wouldn’t have changed anything, but since I was planning the trip I just wanted to know what to expect.

In fact, more than anything else I think that setting the right expectations is the most important part of travel planning with friends. The first time I visited Paris as a working adult was in 2011, when I visited my friend Chiawen. He had moved there from New York and was planning on taking time off to show me around, so he asked me what I wanted to do. I still remember what I told him then: “Walk around, eat good food, and take pictures.” It turned out to be 100% what we did: I didn’t see Versailles or the Louvre, but I ate a ton of great food and it was such an awesome trip that I visited him again in Paris the following year.

As a travel destination Paris is a no-brainer, since it checks 2 out of the 3 boxes for why I travel:

1. Eat good food.
2. Take pictures of pretty places.
3. Watch and play volleyball.

When I was telling this to a friend he asked, “What about people? Doesn’t it matter who you travel with and who you’re seeing?”

I told him,“Yes, of course it does. But I don’t include it as a reason to travel because I think it’s implied. Even though I’ve been known to travel by myself, I’m either seeing people or traveling with people on most of my trips.”

To that end, I’m so grateful that I got to travel with my friend Nathan and introduce Europe to him. Yes, he’s a “P,” and the trip wasn’t without conflict, but it was a good bonding opportunity and I got to learn more about myself.

Who wants to travel somewhere with me?

Tips and Tricks for the Europe Newbie

Traveling with Nathan reminded me that there are a few things I took for granted as an experienced traveler to Europe…so I wanted to jot some of these down while it was fresh in my mind.

1. Wear comfortable shoes. Often you’ll walk 10+ miles a day, so plan accordingly.
2. Get a data plan. Research which one you need and figure out where you can get one immediately after landing. (99% of the time it’ll be cheaper to buy local SIM cards, rather than pay AT&T/Verizon extortion roaming rates.)
3. Figure out the money situation (including the local currency and latest exchange rates). In London you can basically get away with using Apple Pay everywhere (including the Tube). In France you’ll need some cash, which you can usually pick up from a local ATM.
4. Know the metric system. (Celsius vs Fahrenheit, 1 kg = 2.2 lbs, 1 km = 0.6 miles.)
5. Figure out the local transportation (nearest metro stops to where you live and where you want to go, how to get on it, etc.).
6. The ground floor (1st floor in the US) is actually the 0th floor. The 1st floor in Europe is the 2nd floor in the US, and so on.
7. Usually there’s no added tax or tips, so make sure you don’t over-tip.
8. Consider using Duolingo to learn the local language ahead of time, or at least learn basic phrases (excuse me, please, thank you, etc.).