Why a cordless Dyson vacuum will change your life

Never in a million years did I think that I would blog about how life-changing and joyful it is to use a Dyson cordless vacuum. I’m told it’s also a sign of old age and how boring your life is adulthood and maturity. My friend Steve had extolled the virtues of one for years, but I never considered it since I had a functioning, corded vacuum cleaner like everybody else. Now that I own a cordless vacuum, though, I am legitimately sad at all the joy I’ve missed out on over the past few years. Why didn’t more friends tell me about this?

I still remember the first time I used the adjective “life-changing” in a Yelp review — it was for my first burger at Shake Shack years ago, in New York’s Madison Square Park. It was life-changing because it changed how I thought about burgers — I never thought they could taste so good. In the same way, my V11 Dyson cordless vacuum has forever changed how I think about vacuuming. It sounds silly, but not having to deal with cords and being free to use my vacuum anywhere has vastly improved how I perceive vacuuming: it used to be drudgery, and now it’s more like lukewarm joy. Not only that, but it’s also reminded me of how many cordless/wireless products have been life-changing for me:

• Keyless car entry: it’s amazing how quickly you can get used to this. I remember having to rent cars where you have to actually take the keys out of your pocket to unlock your door…so tedious.
• AirPods: if you don’t have wireless earphones, you owe it to yourself to try a pair. Wired headphones are so 2016.
• Inductive (“wireless”) chargers: you wouldn’t think it’s a big deal, but it’s definitely nice to not have to plug-in your phone every night to charge it.
• Wireless CarPlay: this was a game changer. I already had a Bluetooth/GPS unit in my car, but it was a terrible user experience since car companies suck at software. So I paid an arm and a leg for an aftermarket CarPlay unit, and it’s been awesome. It became so much easier than before to listen to what I want and drive to wherever I need to go, all without having to touch my phone. Since it’s wireless, there are no cables to plug in, and it’s a totally seamless experience from starting up my car to getting from point A to point B. It was like getting a whole new car for a fraction of the cost (also, I’m not a car guy).

Getting back to the Dyson: coincidentally, one of my friends who also bought a Dyson laughed when he found out I got one. “What is it about being in quarantine that compels us to buy cordless Dyson vacuums?” Even my grandpa saw my Facebook post, and called to ask which model I recommended, to which I said, “Any of them!” (Really I should be getting commission on these things.)

Regardless, as with any recommendation I make, there are some common sense caveats that come with it:

• If cleanliness is not high on your list of values, then this probably isn’t for you.
• If you’re not into retail therapy and you already enjoy using your existing corded vacuum, then more power to you.
• If you’d rather spend your money on experiences rather than things, I’d argue that you’re also buying the magical experience of being able to vacuum without being tied down to cords (except when you need to plug it in to charge afterwards). Also, according to the online happiness class I took, experiences gives you bigger and more sustained boosts in happiness versus material possessions.

For everyone else who is in the market for one…what are you waiting for?