The Rules of the RSVP, part 4

On Saturday evening I got a call from my friend Divya, who invited me to go on a last minute sailing trip the next day. I was torn because while I really wanted to go, I had already organized a conflicting event at the same time, and had just confirmed people’s RSVPs that day.

On the other hand, invitations to go sailing don’t come that often, and I know as well as anyone that if you say no to an invite, you might not get invited again…it’s just how life works. I considered canceling my event as it was still the evening before (not ideal but at least it wasn’t a same-day cancellation), and I thought this qualified as an extenuating circumstance.

In the end I decided to turn down sailing, mainly because I would have had to shuffle something else in my schedule. I thanked Divya for his invite, and told him that I was prepared to make it happen next time.

Naturally, this made me think about my original post on the Rules of the RSVP…which, I have to confess, sounded harsher than I intended when I reread it earlier last year. It’s funny how that happens, isn’t it? I felt good about it when I wrote it, and friends who know me well probably understood where I was coming from…but from an outsider’s perspective it likely wasn’t the best (or most accurate) reflection of me.

Maybe it would have been better to call them guidelines instead of rules, which coincidentally is how I feel about the current covid restrictions. I’ve never thought of myself as a rule breaker, but apparently quarantining for almost a whole year can give you a new perspective on which rules you should follow in life.

In particular, the current stay-at-home order prohibits gathering with anybody outside of your household, even outside with a mask. While I can shop for groceries and conduct essential activities, I’m not allowed to go hiking even with one other friend, which sounds both draconian and unsustainable.

It goes without saying that yes, hospitals are currently overwhelmed and we all have to do our part to stop the spread. At the same time, it seems important to recognize that we all need social connection, and perhaps in this instance it’s good enough to follow the spirit, rather than the letter of the rules.

The same goes for the Rules of the RSVP.

Additional food for thought:

• What rules do you not follow because you don’t think think they make sense?
• What rules did you used to follow but no longer do?
• When do you follow the spirit, but not necessarily the letter of the rules?