Is it better to ask for forgiveness than permission?

“Lap swim’s canceled today,” I told Malik on the phone.

“Oh you’re there already?” He asked.

“Yeah, just got here and there’s a sign that it’s canceled.”

I’ve been swimming with Malik at a local community center these past few weeks, and it’s been really fun. Well, maybe fun is putting it too strongly — it’s been great to start the day with an outdoor workout, especially given the beautiful weather. Plus, working out with friends beats working out alone, even if you don’t talk while you swim.

Driving home, all I could think about was how I didn’t want to wait until tomorrow for the next lap swim, and where I might be able swim today. I immediately thought of the local swimming and tennis club near my house, mainly because my roommate Cory just told me about it. They weren’t accepting members since they were full, but I figured I could stop by and try to convince somebody to let me swim if the pool wasn’t busy.

I was expecting somebody at reception when I got to the club, but there was nobody there. I changed in the bathroom and went outside to the pool area to see if there was somebody I could talk to about trying the pool, but there were just the 4 women swimming laps (with ~3 other open lanes).

A part of me wanted to pretend I was a member and start swimming like I belonged there, but the rule-follower in me thought I might be arrested for trespassing if people found out I shouldn’t be there. I went back into the building, and stared outside at the pool area as I started to have an internal monologue on whether I should give up on swimming today.

Come on, just go swim…there’s nobody there you can talk to and nobody’s going to say anything.
But what if somebody sees that I’m not a member? You’ll have to do the walk of shame back to your car. And what if they call the police and arrest you for trespassing?
You don’t have to wait around for the police to show up, you can just leave if it comes to that.
But what if you do get arrested? What if it goes on your record and affects your future employment applications?
Wouldn’t it make a great story if that happened?
Um, no it wouldn’t.
But don’t you want something to blog about this week? Wouldn’t this be the perfect thing to write about? Would you regret not trying it and seeing if you don’t get caught?

So I begrudgingly walked outside to reassess the situation. What if one of these women swimming is staff at the club? Wouldn’t it just be better to ask them if I can swim there? I walked closer to the pool and made eye contact with the woman swimming closest to me.

“It feels cold at first, but it’s pretty nice once you get started,” she said and smiled at me.

Okay, phew, she doesn’t suspect anything. “Cool, thanks,” I said. And with that, I jumped in the pool and started my laps. I wish I could say all my fear melted away when I started swimming, but that would be a lie — I definitely swam faster than I would have otherwise, and I got more comfortable the longer I swam, but I was hyper aware of the surroundings and tensed up whenever I saw people walking around the pool or look in my direction.

Is it better to ask for forgiveness than permission? Perhaps, but maybe the best case scenario is not to have to ask for either.