Dim Sum and Everything Bagels

“I’m going to get some dim sum, do you want to come?” I asked Divya.

“Food sounds good, but what is dim sum?” Divya asked.

“It’s Chinese food…you can come and see it.”

“Can you just tell me what it is?”

“It’s kind of hard to describe,” I admitted. “Just come and try it. You’ve had it before, right?”

“Yeah but it was a while ago.” Divya said. “Is it dumplings? That’s what I remember.”

“Not really,” I said. “I mean, there are dumplings in dim sum but traditionally that’s from another part in China.”

“Okay…that’s not helpful.”

I tried again, “It’s like the Asian version of tapas, with small plates of things.”

Divya laughed, “I still don’t know what the ‘things’ are.”

We were at a volleyball meetup, so I tried asking another (non-Asian) person to describe dim sum. “Hey Trent,” I said, “do you know what dim sum is?”

Trent paused, “Is it Korean noodles?”

I laughed, incredulous that I found somebody else who didn’t know what dim sum was. “No,” I said, and turned to Divya. “Just think of it like dumplings.”

“All right,” he said, clearly not satisfied with my description.

So we went to my favorite dim sum takeout place, Dim Sum King, and I got some dim sum for us to try. I told Divya that he should get some of the other “regular” Chinese food, like fried rice, noodles, and sesame chicken.

“What did you get?” Divya asked.

“Siu mai, one of my favorite dim sum things, shrimp and chive dumplings, and sesame balls.”

“What is siu mai?”

“Um….I guess it’s like a pork dumpling.”

The whole experience was hilarious and reminded me of when I introduced some friends to Ranch 99. Specifically, it made me think about how much of a bubble I live in, and how there can be big differences between my lived experience and that of those around me.

Case in point: on that same day, Chiawen was telling me how he saw Everything Everywhere All at Once in London (where he lives), and how he was the only person in the theatre who laughed at the reference to the “everything bagel.”

“Wait,” I said. “What’s an everything bagel?” Even though we’ve been good friends since high school, Chiawen never knew that I don’t like bagels, and therefore never found myself curious about different types of bagels. Nevertheless, both he and I were fascinated by my ignorance of what apparently is an ubiquitous food item in the United States. All of a sudden it didn’t seem so odd that Divya wasn’t familiar with my favorite food group.

I think there were a few reminders for me here:

1. Don’t judge people for what they know and don’t know Don’t make assumptions about what people know and don’t know.
2. There’s always something to be learned from somebody else.
3. Get better at describing what you enjoy.

It’s nothing profound, but I love that I learned something new from a friend, and got to share something delicious with another friend, all in the same weekend.