To Tip or Not To Tip
Over Christmas I was catching up with a friend from high school when the subject of tipping came up.
“TWENTY PERCENT? Are people really expected to tip TWENTY PERCENT on dinner?” Chiawen had been living in Europe for the better part of a decade, and tipping was optional there. (Sometimes, though, there is a service charge tacked on.)
“Yeah, that’s typically how much I tip now.” I went on, “What gets me, though, is being prompted to tip when you’re buying something at the register, like at a coffee place or something…but I still tip since I feel bad if I don’t.”
“What?” he asked, aghast. “What are you tipping for? The fact that you’re paying at a register means you’re not getting service. I mean, the other day I was at Nosh Bagel and all the cashier did was put a bagel in a bag, and she had the gall to turn the register around to prompt me for a tip.”
“Yeah, I get it…obviously I don’t like tipping for a cup of coffee either.”
“I just don’t understand what you’re tipping for, because you’re just getting what you paid for, and it’s not like they even bring it to you.” Chiawen was just getting started. “It’s just crazy because it means you have to add on 30% including tax, which is ridiculous. Plus, it just feels so transactional, since you’re expected to tip that no matter how good the service was. In London – and Europe in general – you just tip if you feel like it, and the service people are so grateful when you do tip because it actually means something!”
Of course I agreed with Chiawen, except now I’ve been conditioned (and guilted) into tipping everywhere they prompt me for a tip.
Just last month I was at the airport buying a sandwich from this upscale market/bar. There was a line where you order, pay, and pick up your order. I got a sandwich, and despite not getting any service (I mean, I guess they heated up my sandwich) I tipped since they prompted me for a tip. There were no open tables outside so I started to put down my stuff at the bar inside the market where I bought my food.
“Are you getting a drink here?” The wait staff asked. (There was nobody at the bar, mind you.)
“No, but I got my sandwich here,” I was a bit taken aback by how abrupt the “service” was.
“Sorry, this is just for bar customers.”
“But I tipped…!” I wanted to shout, but didn’t.
Needless to say I was pretty annoyed, but this combined with my conversation with Chiawen made me reconsider my approach to tipping. Plus, I just don’t want to tip out of guilt any more.
First, though, I would like to get some feedback…how much do you tip in each of the following scenarios?
- You order takeout from a restaurant. (Also, is the answer different if it’s your favorite restaurant and they recognize you?)
- You order coffee at a register from one of those nice coffee places.
- You order a ready-made pastry at a register from a bakery.
- You order a sandwich at a register, and they make it to order.
- You order food at a register, and they bring it to you and bus your table afterwards.
- You dine in at your favorite restaurant.
As I mentioned previously, my default tip for dining in is 20% (on a pre-tax basis…I get really annoyed when restaurants suggest 20% tip on a post-tax basis). If it’s my favorite restaurant I’ll probably tip a little more than that.
A while ago I used to give zero tip for takeout orders, but the past few years I’ve been tipping 5-10% since “it’s expected,” or something. Going forward, I’m tempted to just give zero tip for anything I pay for at a register…after all, as Chiawen said, there’s zero service provided other than the very thing you paid for, right? If they do bring my food to me then I might tip for that, but certainly not the 20% I pay at restaurants.
A part of me doesn’t want people to think I’m cheap, but in the end, I just want to tip my conscience.
What say you, readers?
I’m with Chiawen, but I’ve also have lived in a non-compulsory tipping country for an extended period like him. When I have visitors from the U.S. everyone is relieved and thrilled at not having to tip. It’s an instant discount! With that said the minimum wage here is much higher although it’s still not where it need to be, but that’s a different problem. I don’t agree with tipping for the sake of tipping but appreciate that’s where the wage is supplemented. When they get aggressive about tipping then it’s wrong. I have foreign friends who get harassed by wait staff in the U.S. for not tipping enough, and I think if that’s how they treat customers then it’s even less incentive to tip. I also get annoyed by the minimum tip imposed when it’s a larger party and they don’t staff the right number for the table. That’s me on a high horse, I can imagine the pressure you are under to tip in the U.S. and how you are guilted into conforming. Plus you don’t want to piss off anyone who handles your food, just saying 😁