J is for Judgey, part 3

I’m addicted to Hanabi. Or more accurately, I’m addicted to Board Game Arena. In lieu of organizing in-person volleyball and game nights, I’m now organizing virtual game nights like a madman. The best part of these virtual game nights is that I can now connect with friends who aren’t local and can’t normally do game nights with. The second best part is not having to set-up or clean-up the games. In addition, it seems like most games (Hanabi falls into this category) are much easier to play online than in person. To that end, I’ve joked with friends that when we’re allowed to have in-person game nights again, we’ll just all bring our devices and play that way instead (unfortunately, you will need to pay $4/month to do that on BGA…but to me it’s well worth it).

Hanabi is a co-op card game for 2-5 players that derives its name from the Japanese word for “fireworks.” For the uninitiated, it’s a co-op game because you win or lose as a team (versus individually). Some co-op games have >1 team (generally 2, as in Codenames, Saboteur, or Not Alone), but in Hanabi’s case it’s just one team (à la Magic Maze or the original Pandemic).

Usually I’m not a fan of single team co-op games — in fact, when a friend first started explaining this game to me over Zoom, my face fell and I lost all interest — but after playing once I was hooked, and have since introduced it to 10+ friends, most of which have also enjoyed the game (although not as much as me).

After teaching my friend Nic how to play, he went as far as to read up on popular Hanabi techniques online, and after he shared it with me I just wanted to play more. The problem with co-op games, though, is that you’re at the whim of your fellow players. So it can either be super fun to play with people who know what they’re doing, or super frustrating because they’re not on the same wavelength. (Nic told me that he rage quit one day after getting paired with random players that were terrible…which I can totally relate to.)

Since I’ve been teaching friends how to play Hanabi the past couple weeks I’ve found myself saying the following a lot:

• You shouldn’t do that because…
• What you should have done was…
• Why’d you do that? You should never do that.

It’s funny because on at least one occasion I’ve debated at length with a friend on why he should never make the move he just made. And after further reflection, it occurred to me that I also do this when I’m:

1. Playing Spades, since it’s a 4-player game where you team up with the player sitting across from you. I enjoy spades for the same reason I enjoy Hanabi: there is a distinct “right” way to play, and a “wrong” way to play. Both are very logical games that require attention to detail, and it DRIVES ME CRAZY when my partner is either illogical or not paying attention to detail. I also make sure my partner knows it when they’re not playing the “right” way.
2. Playing Codenames. While there’s no distinct “right” way to play Codenames, I do think there’s a logical way to play the game. It is both hilarious and frustrating when people do mental gymnastics to connect your one-word clue to random words on the board. As a spymaster you’re not supposed to make any facial expressions when your team is discussing your clue, so I often have to find something to cover my face so I don’t give away anything.
3. Writing on this blog. A friend pointed out to me that my blog is all about telling people how they should or should not do things, like how to RSVP, what part of the chicken you’re supposed to eat, how to be a good friend, and so on. Apparently this also means I’m a 1 on the Enneagram…which, by the way, I’m not (I’m a 2).

….and holy crap, I just realized that I do this in life in general. Like, it literally didn’t occur to me until I wrote that sentence. Granted, I do this a lot more vocally when I’m playing games, if only because it’s a lot less obvious when you’re messing up in life versus playing Spades or Hanabi.

To be clear, this isn’t a one-way street…I’ve had plenty of friends tell me I made the wrong move in Hanabi / Spades / Codenames / etc. I actually welcome it, because I want to know what I could have done better. I do recognize that not everybody is like me, and in addition, there’s probably room for improvement for how I tell people they’re screwing up the game. Most of the time I try to be funny, but I know it can sometimes come off as belittling, which I’m definitely sorry for.

In the meantime…if any of you want to learn Hanabi or have a virtual game night on BGA, you know who to call. Be warned, though…I will most definitely let you know if you’re not logical or paying attention to detail.